By: Cori Sue

“Summer lovin, had me a blast. Summer lovin, happened so fast. Met a boy, crazy for me,” I crooned, batting my eyelashes, flipping my hair, and envisioning myself a blonde in leather pants akin to Sandy in Grease.

“Met a girl, cute as can be,” replied my dance partner, in a Spanish accent so thick I’m not sure he even knew what he was singing.

“Summer days driftin’ away, to uh-oh those summer nights. Uh well-a well-a well-a huh,” we continued on emphatically. My hardly-21-year-old Colombian dance partner spun me around, dipping me as my costume crown falls to the ground.

I am sunburnt (from climbing a mountain), wearing a tiara and a sash, along with various other assorted props. I’m drunk off of bad oldies tunes and one far-too-strong-and-larger-than-life mojito. It’s New Year’s Eve. My teeny bopper dance moves are unstoppable.

Where the hell am I?

Andres Carne de Res, a five-floor amusement-style restaurant-turned-night-club that boasts a 15-page menu, overpriced and oversized tropical beverages and more steak and frivolity than even the most American of Americans could fathom. Waitresses wear an assortment of buttons. Other employees assault you with puppets. People put crowns and sashes on you. It’s like TGIFridays, or Fudruckers. But on steroids, and in Colombia.

In Colombia? You say. Like the country?

Yes, Colombia, that drug-invested dangerous country where you’re sure to get carried off by the FARC and held for ransom, according to my overly concerned relatives.

Why, you ask?

In another one of my hair-brained whirlwind plans, I’d dragged my god sister and oldest friend, Anna, off to Bogota for New Year’s holiday (much to my god-parents’ dismay). Because, it would be fun, and well, why not?

Why Colombia? (Everyone asked).

Well, allow me to elaborate … and then get to brunch. Here’s my short list on why—and what you should do—when you visit Colombia.

1.) Have fun. For starters, there are spectacular establishments like Arnes Carne de Res where you can stuff yourself with delicious cuisine, flamboyant cocktails and dance to Euro House music, Spanish salsa tunes and American pop all-at-once.

2.) Experience an amazing country. I’m not here to give you a geography or history lesson. But, Colombia is one of the most beautiful countries out there—there are mountains, jungles, tropical and Caribbean beaches. There are bustling and thriving cities—epicenters of culture for you to enjoy. You can climb a mountain in the jungle one day, relax on a Caribbean beach the next, and visit world-class museums another.

3.) Be cheap—and go shopping. The exchange rate of U.S. dollars to Colombian pesos two-to-one and everything is dirt cheap. Spirit Airlines and Jet Blue fly to three major Colombian cities—Bogota, Cartagena and Medellin—and you can snag a ticket for less money than it takes to get to California. Colombia is the emerald capital of the world. In addition to emeralds, there are all sorts of authentic, hand-made indigenous gold jewels and beaded baubles, Panama hats, tapestries, hammocks. You name it.

4.) Have an adventure. While in Colombia, we climbed a tropical mountain. We also took a bike tour through the very hilly and traffic filled downtown Bogota. Ecotourism, tropical wildlife, scenic hikes, hang gliding, scuba diving and whale watching—you can do all that and more in Colombia.

5.) Eat fresh. Colombia has an abundance of tropical fruit. Every morning, everywhere, you can drink fresh-squeezed mango, orange, lemon, pineapple or coconut juice. There are street stands selling fresh cups of mango, papaya and pineapple for two pesos, or less than a dollar, on every corner. On the weekend, there are markets filled with tropical fruits like you’ve never seen in your life.

6.) Drink beer. Like everything else, Colombian beer is cheap, and light. One of the nation’s signature beverages is a cerveza michelada, basically a beergarita—lime, salt, and beer. It’s delicious, trust me.

7.)  See beauty—even in fat people. Bogota’s Museo de Oro, or museum of gold, has the world’s largest share of gold artifacts and is listed in the Thousand Places to See Before You Die. Additionally, Fernando Botero, the Colombian painter who paints morbidly fat people and somehow makes them cute, has his namesake museum around the corner.

8.) Brunch (or breakfast). One day, we hopped over to La Puerta Falsa, an adorable breakfast café hidden in la Candelaria, the historical part of town, that was founded in 1816. We climbed up the wooden stairs to a loft-style portion of the restaurant and ordered Colombia’s three traditional dishes.

First, huevos pericos, scrambled eggs with tomatos and onions and served in a cast iron skillet. No matter where you go in Colombia, huevos pericos are served the same way.

Then, a tamale, a combination of yellow cumin rice, chicken, onions, and peppers served inside a banana leaf. Warm, delicious and filling.

Saving the best for last, Colombians eat cheese dipped in hot chocolate for breakfast. Sounds bizarre, but it’s not. Rich, dark hot chocolate comes served with huge slices of fluffy buttered bread and a soft, mildly flavored cheese, which you dip into the hot chocolate.

Though at first hesitant, I can honestly say it was delicious. But, feeding me bread, cheese and chocolate in one meal is likely to garner positive reviews

La Puerta Falsa
Calle 11 No 6-50
Bogota, Colombia

Also, in Colombia, they have llamas, which is clear reason to buy your plane ticket.

By: Becca

Fall events have been in high gear for weeks, even if the weather was slow to catch up. This week is no exception—and the weather has finally arrived! So grab your best boots and get out and about, D.C.

All This Month

Select D.C. restaurants are serving dinner to “Take a Bite Out of Breast Cancer.” For one day, a week, or the entire month, the restaurants—ranging from Proof to Hudson to Todd Gray’s Watershed—are donating a portion of their food and beverage sales to Pink Jams. Check the calendar whenever you’re eating out this month, and pick a restaurant that’s participating.

Monday

It’s D.C. Farm to School Network’s third annual Farm to School Week. The week is kicking off with a “Top Chef”-style battle between four local chefs to create the tastiest seasonal salad. Chefs will use D.C. school garden produce and a pantry of items furnished by Whole Foods. 2 p.m. at the Thurgood Marshall Academy Public Charter High School and Savoy Elementary School shared gymnasium, 2427 Martin Luther King Jr. Avenue, Washington, DC. Email to RSVP.

Tuesday

Carmine’s is celebrating a year in D.C. by honoring the Trust for the National Mall with an Italian celebration to kick-off the L’Enfant Society’s fall season. Wine, beer, specialty cocktails, heavy hors d’oeuvres, Italian buffets, giveaways, gift bags and more. The event is free for current L’Enfant Society members, $25 for non-members. Click here to get tickets.

Wednesday

Sisarina is hosting DC Hearts the Arts, an artistic fashion show and arts fest, featuring theatrical performances, painting, music, and more. It’s free; at the Forum Theatre at Round House Theatre in Silver Spring. Register here.

Thursday

Besides the usual fun, there’s another great reason to hit month’s Phillips After 5: the museum’s new exhibit, Degas’s Dancers at the Barre: Point and Counterpoint. It’s the first exhibition of Degas’s dancers in Washington, D.C., in 25 years. The exhibit will be there through January 8. After Hours is $12 or free for members. Get tickets here.

Friday

Friday night the National Building Museum is hosting a beer fest, the U.S. Finals of the 15th annual World Draught Masters competition. Regional champions from around the country will compete for the perfect pour. The prize? To represent the United States in the Stella Artois World Draught Masters Championship in Buenos Aires. Doors open at 9 p.m.; competition at 10:30 p.m. The entire evening is free and open to the public.

Saturday

The region’s largest and most eagerly anticipated food, wine and entertainment event, Taste of DC, is taking over Pennsylvania Avenue this entire weekend. The three-day event will showcase more than 80 restaurants, eateries and food trucks, not to mention bring in huge music acts. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the DC Central Kitchen, the American Red Cross and Bread for the City. Plus, purchase your tickets using this link (click here!) and we’ll donate 10% of the proceeds to DC Farm to School.

Sunday

Looking for a place to brunch? We hear Logan Circle’s newest spot, Pearl Dive Oyster Palace and Black Jack, is now open and serving our favorite meal. 1612 14th Street; 202-986-8778.

By: Cori Sue

With all the brunch options, a restaurant really needs to stand out in one of two ways–(1) phenomenal food and a spectacular ambiance, regardless of the price, or (2) affordable comforting cuisine. Greek restaurant Rosemary’s Thyme falls into the second category. As Salman, who brunched with me last Saturday, adequately summarizes, “It was an incredibly awesome average brunch.”

Saturday, I sat on the restaurant’s large patio with Salman and his wife, Adrienne, my sophomore year roommate. Since our days sharing a teensy tiny attic room in the sorority house, Adrienne traveled the world, living in Bologna, Italy, and Cairo, where she met her Pakistani husband. It seemed only natural I would be reuniting with this 21st century global couple over International cuisine.

We spent several hours catching up on the patio, which is lovely. Says Adrienne, “The wooden picnicky chairs and tables were an affront to my eyes, but not my bum. They were surprisingly comfortable and encourage a long-drawn out chatty brunch, as did the generally good company. The wooden chairs give it a folksy, neighborhood feel.”

While Greek in name, there was not much about Rosemary’s brunch that was decidedly Greek in cuisine. The restaurant has a decent beer selection–Salman ordered a beer and Adrienne and I opted for iced coffees, which were crucial when killer-hot temperatures exhaust you the moment you wake.

Along with the beverages, the waiter brought out a basket of fresh, warm wheat bread with butter and jelly. Not the most impressive bread basket I’ve seen, but a pleasant, complimentary, addition.

Both Salman and I ordered quiches–Salman had the bacon and I chose the spinach, which had cheese and onions as well. Both quiches were served with home fries, fruit, and a side of Hollandaise for dipping. Priced at nine dollars and change, the plates provided a lot of food at a low price.

“The quiche was filling,” says Salman. “That was what I liked most about it, as I have been to too many overpriced brunches that I leave from still hungry. It was soft and moist in the center, which offset the slightly dry crust.”

By contrast, I found the inside of my quiche too moist, and the crust buttery and flakey rather than dry. But, in true Bitches fashion, everyone is entitled to their opinions.

Adrienne chose the Eggs Florentine, which included a poached egg, english muffin, tomatoes, spinach, and Hollandaise. The dish was also served with potatoes and fruit. She said the eggs were too runny, but that overall it was decent.

We concluded with creme brulée, topped with fresh raspberries. The dessert was good, but nothing memorable or worth writing home about. The brulée’s crust was perfectly crispy, but the dish lacked flavor.

The Bitches say: C+. Overall, Rosemary’s Thyme is affordable, decent cuisine– a great go-to if you live in the neighborhood. If you don’t, it’s not worth the trip. The restaurant lacks the finesse of finer restaurants and fails to take the care needed to prepare dishes perfectly.

Rosemary’s Thyme
1808 18th Street N.W.
Washington, D.C.
(202) 332-3200

By: Cori Sue

My New York brunching experience on our Memorial Day trip was nothing spectacular. My dinners were ah-mazing: dates with beau at a charming little Italian eatery, Aria, in the West Village, and at ABC Kitchen, chef Jean Georges’ new farm-to-table restaurant that won the 2011 James Beard Award for Best New Restaurant only two weeks prior. But brunch was far less thrilling.

As you read, Pastis was overrated and, as a commenter from New York said, “so four years ago.” Happily, an unplanned brunch at Isabella’s the next day was much better, but similarly nothing special.

In a very uncharacteristic move, we did not have reservations anywhere for brunch. Beau and I met up with friends and wandered through town trying to find a Sunday spot without a two-hour wait.

In comes Isabella’s, a respectable, albeit boring, dining establishment on the Upper West Side. Apparently, the cuisine is Mediterranean, but you really couldn’t tell at brunch.

Unlike the $18 bread basket at Pastis the day prior, brunch at Isabella’s begins with a complimentary basket filled with an assortment of breads including banana chocolate chip, French, and raisin. Butter and strawberry cream cheese spreads join the basket.

The menu is both expansive and affordable. There are five types of Benedicts (including a filet mignon Benny), two types of waffles, crepes, French toast and nine egg dishes, including a variety of omelets and huevos rancheros, to choose from with prices ranging between $13 to $16 a dish.

Brunch is served with a complimentary beverage—mimosa, Bloody Mary, Screw Driver, campari, champagne, grapefruit juice or orange juice, along with coffee or tea. All three ladies had mimosas and coffees, included in our entrée price of $16 or less. Not bad, Isabella’s, not bad.

Additionally, the portions were enormous. Both of our New Yorkers had omelets, served with bacon and home fries. Brittany says, “I loved my omelet, it was packed full of vegetables and they were so fresh! I thought the food overall was very good and the portions were great. The prices were very fair considering all we got with our meal”

Beau opted for skewered chicken, served with a Greek salad and lemon French fries with tzatziki dipping sauce. (There, we go, Greek cuisine!) It was chicken. And fries. He arrived hungover and hungry and left well-fed with a few beers in him. He was happy.

I opted for the crab cake Benedict. Because that’s what I usually opt for. It was served with the same oily, seasoned home fries as the omelets. A little too oily for my liking. The muffins were appropriately toasted, the crab cakes loaded with real crab, and paired with spinach. The Hollandaise was nothing special, and there was plenty—I’d venture to say too much—on it. I’ve had plenty of better Bennys, but I’ve certainly had far worse.

The overall experience—service, pricing and ambiance—at Isabella’s was pleasant. Potted palm trees punctuate round tables with wicker chairs. The walls are white with green trim and the ceilings high. The space feels bright, airy and open, like you’re in the dining room of Club Med in Acapulco and not in New York. (Not sure how this ambiance works in the cold New York winters, however). Our server was prompt, competent and attentive, without being obnoxious, add the New York ladies.

Isabella’s is reliable, fresh food in large portions at affordable prices. To the untrained diner or average person, it is delicious. The food snob, however, will be less impressed.

The Bitches say: B. If you’re hungry and looking for brunch without a two-hour wait on the Upper West Side, head to Isabella’s to fill up on good enough food.

Isabella’s
359 Columbus Ave.
New York, NY
(212) 724-2100

By: Cori Sue

The first day back after a holiday weekend is always awful, isn’t it? Well, I had a busy four-day bender (It’s the week between grad school semesters and my 25th birthday tomorrow, don’t judge), so I’ll be attempting to take it easy this week.

I hope you’re all sun-tanned and glowing from a weekend full of sunshine, fireworks, hotdogs, lemonade, beer, and all things American. Take a few days for rest and relaxation before the weekend, as it’s sure to be another fun one. Because, honestly, there’s only one event on our “This Week” calendar today, and that’s the Summer Soiree.

We’re a few tickets shy of selling out, so I suggest you get yours today. We are looking forward to sipping on mimosas and dancing with you, lovelies, to celebrate summer, fun and help out those cute little munchkins in the elementary schools served by the DC Farm to School Network.

In addition to delicious cuisine from Chef Ris, there will be bottomless champagne, three types of mimosas (traditional, vanilla peach, and cherry pomegranate), and beer from Port City Brewery for the gentlemen. The goodie bags will be filled with Frosting cupcakes, snacks, makeup, giftcards and steep boutique discounts, and more. See you there, kittens.

P.S. We have plenty of brunch reviews and event recaps this week, including a post this afternoon, so check back!

By: Becca

It was American Craft Beer Week, and I hadn’t yet made it to any of the events (even though I live with a complete brew nut who pours for Port City in Alexandria). So instead I planned to fit in some of the excitement and suds at brunch.

Plus, Cori Sue and I had connected with the lovely Alejandra of One Bite at a Time and Tammy of Florida Girl in DC. The two are actually coworkers at AARP, and on the side they are both bloggers, social media queens, women-about-town, and avid foodies. This particular Sunday, they were joining us for brunch and beer (and they brought us delicious goodies).

The ACBW event in question was a BYT Flying Dog Brewery event at Smith Commons. All the factors were in place: great sponsor blog, great brewery (anything with Steadman illustrations is automatically awesome), and great restaurant. However, the place was nearly deserted.

So, we decided to skip the “smith” dining room on the first level and head up to the “commons” Public House for the patio and some sunshine.

Let me tell you, the atmosphere at Smith Commons is fabulous. A renovated carpet warehouse, it’s all white oak and exposed brick, fancy light fixtures and high tops. Upstairs, the vibe is more in line with H Street, with a huge open window that frames the space like a picture. The patio is small but just enough space, and it overlooks the little side streets into the neighborhood.

It’s such a cool place; you want the food to be excellent. Cori Sue and I had dinner there back when it opened, and we were unimpressed. We were crossing our fingers their newly launched brunch had stepped it up a notch.

Sadly, it wasn’t to be.

The French toast was said to be made with Cointreau Noir Orange, which sounds amazing. But all in all, it was a bit soggy and flavorless. Plus, we tasted hardly no orange.

The eggs Benedict, which I had, were nothing special. Standard Canadian bacon and hollandaise on an English muffin, and not even that great. Also, they were perched by themselves on my plate, with no sides or garnishes to assist. How lonely.

The shrimp and grits were made with Anson Mills grits, and had a touch of avocado, cilantro, sundried tomatoes, and pomegranate peppered throughout. The tiny dish also lacked the necessary punch. We didn’t even finish it.

Cori Sue had the pancakes, which were miniature and cute, but again, completely flavorless. Making them with cornmeal, rather than buttermilk, was a nice touch—and they were topped with a bit of fruit. But other than that, a bit boring.

The beermosas might have been the best part of the meal. A light hefeweizen with a touch of orange juice is the perfect drink for a patio brunch. And Smith Commons has a great craft beer selection. We advise you stick to the suds at this place. A friend of ours who also brunched here told us the bloody Mary had the consistency of a yogurt smoothie. Eep!

We really like what Frederik De Pue does—we’ve had some of his dishes at charity events and he also contributed to the Number 68 meals—but this brunch was just overreaching. We hope he fine tunes.

The Bitches say: C+ Go for beer and the atmosphere, but head across the street for grub.

Smith Commons
1245 H St, NE
Washington, DC 20002
(202) 396-0038

By: Becca

Do you have your ticket to the event of the summer? Yes? OK. Then let’s get on with the week …

Monday

Get this: 884 million people in the world do not have access to safe drinking water and 2.6 billion are without adequate sanitation facilities. Tonight at the National Museum of Women in the Arts, the DC Water For People Committee  hosts a gala to honor women who have made significant contributions in the field of water and sanitation. Scheduled to coincide with the American Water Works Association’s Annual Conference, the Gala will feature live world music, international cuisine, an open beer and wine bar and a silent auction for a trip for two to an African safari, a week in Hawaii, art, and more. Get tickets until 5 p.m. today here.

Photo credit: Water For People

Tuesday

If you’re a theater junkie, check out the Source Festival, which gets into full swing this week. New plays performed by both rising talents and established artists include 10-minute plays, artistic blind dates, and full-length plays. All in all, it’s 25 new works over three weeks. Tonight at 8 p.m., “Spacebar: A Broadway Play by Kyle Sugarman” is the first full-length play of the festival. See the full calendar here, and get tickets here. Everything runs through July 3.

Wednesday

If you failed to get tickets to the sold-out Katy Perry concert at Merriweather, head to Vapiano in Chinatown instead for a happy hour hosted by The Smugger. Proceeds will go to The MusicianShip, a non-profit that provides music instruction to more than 200 underprivileged children in seven D.C. Public Schools. All (100 percent!) of the proceeds will go to the MusicianShip in funding for scholarships and expenses. Donations snag you a free drink and enter you into a drawing for Kid Cudi concert tickets.

Photo credit: MusicianShip

Thursday

Back by popular demand, the Washington Nationals Ladies Night Party is this Thursday from 4:30 to 7 p.m. followed by the game against the St. Louis Cardinals. Drink specials, music and entertainment, and a special Ladies Night gift are included in the $40 ticket price, which also includes a field level game ticket. The happy hour event will be held in the 1st and Potomac Street Party Tent. If you can’t make it to the pre-party, purchase a $25 Ladies Night ticket to the game. All Ladies Night tickets will include $10 in added value food and beverage credit to be used during the game. Get tickets here.

Photo credit: Washington Nationals

Friday

Brew it, taste it, sip it, and pork it at the Beer, Bourbon, and BBQ Festival this Friday night. The Saturday event is already sold out, but some tickets remain for Friday. Taste over 60 beers, 40 bourbons, and tons of barbecue at the eat fest in National Harbor. Admission gets you a sampling glass and all you can handle to eat and drink. Live music, seminars, contests, exhibits and more. It’s bound to be a lovely night. Get tickets here.

Photo credit: BBBF

Saturday

Get your om on all this week during Viginia Yoga Week. More than 80 free and inexpensive classes are being offered just across the river. In the name of karma, the classes also raise money for a selection of very worthy charities. See the full schedule here.

Photo credit: Virginia Yoga Week

Sunday

It’s Father’s Day on Sunday, so treat dad to a lazy, beer-filled brunch. We’ll give you our top picks for pops later this week.

By: Cori Sue

I am sun burnt and my hair is frizzy. Hello, summer. Becca’s in Vegas all week and I just returned from a whirlwind weekend in New York. Not sure we’ll make it to any of these fun events, but we sure wish we could—my seersucker pants are longing  for a bikeride

Tuesday
It’s a perfect (beer) pairing—Birch & Barley and Sierra Nevada team up to create a five-course meal paired with nine Sierra Nevada ales. Tickets are $75, call (202) 567-2576 for reservations. 1337 14th St. N.W., Washington, D.C.

Wednesday
Tweet, eat, drink and dance… at DC Tweetup #24 held at Madam’s Organ. The event features live music, half-priced drinks and discounted appetizers, and benefits Alabama tornado relief. Free, RSVP here. Wednesday, 5–9 p.m., Madam’s Organ, 2461 18th St. N.W., Washington, D.C.

Thursday
Luke’s Wings, a charity that purchases airplane tickets for hospitalized wounded soldiers’ families, hosts its annual Casino Royale Night. Attendees will enjoy specialty cocktails, gourmet hors d’oeurves from Leopold’s Café, a luxury raffle table, and a night of casino gambling complete with tables, games, and dealers. Guests will receive $30,000 in casino chips. DJ Neekola will be spinning music for the evening. Black tie, tickets, $55. Thursday, 7 p.m., Leopold’s Lounge (L2), 3409 M St. N.W., Washington D.C.

Friday
Urban Chic boutique hosts a trunk show featuring Tibi, one of my favorite designers, spring and summer collections. Shoppers receive 15 percent off of any Tibi purchase and enjoy complimentary champagne, treats from Hello Cupcake, and a free gift. Urban Chic, 1626 Wisconsin Ave. N.W., Washington, D.C.

Saturday
It’s time for the Seersucker Bike Ride and Lawn Party! Join Dandies & Quaintrelles for their biannual vintage-themed bike ride. Get dressed up in your best vintage attire and bike through Washington, culminating in a lawn party—complete with badminton and croquet—at the Hillwood Estate and Museum. Bike ride begins at 2 p.m., lawn party begins at 3:30 p.m. Click here for more information, and here for lawn party tickets ($10).

Sunday

We suggest brunch and sunshine… my absolute favorite new spot, Lincoln Restaurant, launches their brunch today. We’ll both be out of town, sadly, so see if you can beat the Bitches there. (Feel free to tweet us your thoughts)

If you’re feeling more ambitious, head to Annapolis. By far the most fun race we’ve heard of, the ZOOMA Annapolis Half-Marathon and 10K takes place this Sunday. After you finish your run, enjoy complimentary wine, massages, shopping, and live music at the post-race party. Details, here.

By: Cori Sue

My favorite neighborhood bar, Churchkey, seems to be the favorite bar for the rest of the damn city, too. So, I wouldn’t mind having a backup pub—somewhere cozy, charming, and close by—with a great beer selection and good bar food. When I heard St. Arnolds opened on the hidden Jefferson Street in Dupont, I thought, this is my place.

Since I’m a Bitch, I ended up heading to St. Arnolds for brunch before I made it for happy hour. A cozy tavern nestled in an English basement off Connecticut Avenue, St. Arnolds has a welcoming, relaxed ambiance perfect for a neighborhood pub. There are long wooden tables and benches, and the beer selection is written in chalk on the walls. “It seems homey and hits the mark on the Irish/English pub tavern thing it’s going for,” said Bitch Danielle.

When we walked in at noon on a Saturday, the place was desolate except for a row of five middle-aged men sitting on stools at the bar. “It’s a little off-putting to go into a place that is pretty much empty. Because, of course you think, ‘Why is no one else here?’ But, it’s a fairly new place, and the vibe seems more post-work-happy-hour than brunch to me,” she continues.

While we weren’t drinking that Saturday morning, the gentlemen at the bar made regular visits to the Build-Your-Own Bloody Mary station, which I’d love to go back and take advantage of on another occasion. Also, I’d be awesome if St. Arnolds stepped up its brunch by adding some Beermosas to the menu (just a little suggestion).

The brunch menu is succinct but sufficient. There are five options: Full English Breakfast, Full American Breakfast, Belgian Breakfast, Eggs in the Middle, or “The Drug Opera,” a ham-and-cheese sandwich topped with eggs. Additionally, you have your pick of the restaurants waffle options: powdered sugar and whipped cream, fruit and whipped cream, farmers cheese and fresh fruit, or Nutella, chocolate sauce or honey.

In this instance, Danielle opted to create her own Belgian waffle with both Nutella and fruit (what a daredevil).

“My food was delicious,” she said. “It’s hard to screw up waffles with Nutella on top. I am a big Nutella fan, so the dish was a win in my book. The waffle was good—fluffy and not too doughy. It didn’t come with any sides, though, not even fruit.

Meanwhile, Ashley had the Eggs in the Middle—poached eggs inside bread served with a side of home fries. She described the dish as unique and delicious—but did mention her over easy eggs were not, in fact, over easy. Minus points, but not a deal breaker as she didn’t send the dish back.

I opted for the traditional Belgian breakfast—a waffle, two eggs (scrambled), frites (which are actually home fries, I wish they had been french fries), and sausage (which I passed off to my carnivorous compadres). The eggs and potatoes were good, the girls said the sausage was delicious. However, my waffle was slightly burnt and slightly cold. I would have expected more effort from the kitchen to provide a hot, correctly cooked waffle as we were the only table in the joint.

Our service was great. Our waitress actually co-owns the restaurant with her husband, and was super friendly, attentive without being overbearing.  She seemed genuinely concerned that we were happy with our food and our experience.

The Bitches say: B. Food used good quality ingredients, but lacked any excitement or flair, and could have been better prepared. Other than my slightly crispy waffle, there were no lows, just no highs, either. It’s definitely better as a bar, and I hear they have great happy hour specials.

St. Arnold’s
1827 Jefferson Place
Washington, D.C.
(202) 833-1321

By: Cori Sue

In case you’ve been living under a proverbial rock, you’ve probably heard about the 14th Street restaurant/bar duo Birch & Barley/Churchkey. Seriously, the buzz around this joint on food blogs and Twitter is nearly impossible to miss. (I mean, chef Kyle Bailey won another award last week.)

For me, Churchkey is just my neighborhood bar. I live a block away (no stalkers, please) and am there so often it’s the closest thing I’ll ever experience to a Cheers. A recent Foursquare convert (I repeat, no stalkers, please), I am determined to oust Churchkey’s current mayor and proclaim my hegemony for all on the Interwebs to see. (Watch out, Steve P., I am coming for you).

Back to the food and drink, I love the beer selection (who doesn’t?). Their upscale bar food—mac-and-cheese sticks, arrancini, flatbreads, tots—is my go-to. Churchkey’s  desserts also surprised me, the egg nog sundae—home-made egg nog ice cream, caramel, toffee, home-made gingersnaps and whipped cream—is literally the best dessert I’ve had in years, and, mind you, I eat dessert daily. Furthermore, I didn’t even know I liked egg nog. I loved it so much, I ate it twice in one week in January (no judgment, please).

My neighborhood gang of friends converges regularly at Churchkey, so last Sunday we did so for brunch. While the Bitches have brunched at Birch & Barley downstairs, we’ve never brunched at Churchkey. And, while Churchkey’s brunch was good, it paled in comparison to the brunch downstairs (how I know not) and our other dozens of experiences at our neighborhood pub.

Our waitress, who we’ve had before, was competent, efficient, and attentive. Coffee and water refills came quickly, as did the beers and Bloody Marys.

I opted for the Whiskey French toast, which was pretty much the only veg-friendly option on Churchkey’s smaller brunch menu. (Same kitchen, less options upstairs.)  The dish was served with caramelized gala apples, walnuts, marscapone and topped with a whiskey-flavored syrup. Honestly, it was cold and lacked flavor. As far as the accoutrements go, the apples were puny (and cold), there was a dollop of of marscapone on the side, and literally two walnuts. The toast itself was sliced fluffy white bread but it lacked any notable taste—it was sprinkled with cinnamon and powdered sugar, and assumably cooked in eggs and butter, but I could taste the savors of none.

Beau and I had gone to gone to Churchkey this lovely morning with hopes of ordering the infamous Luther sandwich (he wanted to eat, I wanted him to describe each bite). Sadly, we arrived too late and missed the 50-sandwich quota that morning. I’m not sure who was more devastated—the blogger or the diner.

Instead of Luthers, the gang at the table had plenty of heart-attack inducing cuisine. The first dish was the sausage, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwich, which I myself had the sausage-free version of at Birch & Barley. It’s served on this amazing creme fraiche biscuit that makes the dish. Beau says: “The sausage egg and cheese sandwich was killer. It was like a morning hamburger, given how huge the sausage patty was. There’s definitely no Jimmy Dean at Churchkey, I would guess that it’s made in-house, or at least purchased through a quality supplier, given how amazing it was.”

There were two plates of Churchkey’s chicken and waffles. Between chews, the boys described the fried chicken as “juicy,” “salty,” and “perfectly cooked.” As for the waffles, beau says: “The waffles were amazing. They had a nice consistency and just the right amount of moistness.”

However, the ladies at the table took a divergent opinion, says Maureen:

“As far as the chicken and waffles go, I liked it but I wasn’t overwhelmed or really impressed. I guess I’d give it a B. It didn’t knock my socks off. The flavor was good, there just wasn’t enough to tie it together—and it definitely needed more syrup.”

Beau’s thoughts on the syrup issue: “When we asked for more syrup, the waitress asked that we first finished the little bit that she brought out. I initially took this to be sort of a rude gesture, but then realized it was because they serve real syrup and not some maple syrup flavor product, and that shit is expensive so it makes sense that they don’t want to bring out a pint to every table.”

As always, the beer selection was great, although beau was bummed they took his fave beer, Brooklyn Lager, off the tap list. However, while the beer was good, the Bloody Marys were good, but not great. They were salty and a little heavy on the horseradish. We give them a B.

The Bitches say: B. While Churchkey is our fave spot for beers, bar food, and even dessert, we’d suggest you opt for Birch & Barley over its upstairs neighbor for brunch. You’ll have to make a reservation, or wait a really long time, but it will be worth it.

Churchkey
1337 14th Street
Washington, D.C. 2005
(202) 567-2576