My perfect-daughter-on-Mother’s-Day plan was marred! I flew my mother and my brother to DC for the weekend, stocked my fridge with all their favorites (English tea, a selection of cheeses, and Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut for mum? Check, check, check!), even took them to Proof for a fabulous dinner Saturday night.
And, of course, I made brunch reservations that I thought were to be smashing. Because brunch on the Georgetown Waterfront is guaranteed to be smashing, right? In particular, a sister restaurant to Founding Farmers (which I adore) on the Georgetown Waterfront is guaranteed to be smashing, right? Right?
Sadly, Farmers & Fishers missed the mark. No wait. They missed so many marks I was hesitant to even write this review. I contemplated all week about how to compose this. And it’s not going to be pretty … So I’ll just rip it like a Band-Aid.
The service was flakey. The buffet ($24.99 a person, not including mimosas) was bizarre (catfish, Asian chicken … Rice a Roni?), and didn’t have anything made-to-order, such as omelets or waffles. The most-recommended dish, the cinnamon rolls, tasted like they were plopped out of a frozen packet. The eggs Benedict made me sad. The cream pies made my mother gag—literally. The breadbasket was pathetic (half a bagel … really?). The carved rib eye was caked in gooey fat.
The acoustics were horrible. A child fell off a chair at the table next to us, and the wait staff pretended not to notice. And—the very last straw for me—the mimosas were inconsistent, over-pulpy and had hardly any champagne. In summation: It felt like an overpriced cafeteria.
Wheo. I feel better now. I just had to let it out.
The management probably noticed me snapping photos of our picked-over plates and came over to ask how our meal was. My mother asked them if they wanted us to be honest. They nodded. She let them have it.
They were very apologetic, explained that their “brunch philosophy comes from corporate” and picked up the whole tab, which, we weren’t expecting, nor did I really want them to do (I write brunch reviews … I don’t want your free brunches). But it was a nice gesture, and actually made us feel marginally better about the whole experience.
Maybe dinner is better at Farmers & Fishers. Maybe it was just an off day for them for brunch, being crazy-busy Mother’s Day. Maybe I’m just a bitch who brunches.
Either way, we waddled up to M Street for coffee and a stroll along the canals, and after that, the world was all better again.
The bitches say: D. Don’t make me explain why again.
UPDATE! My mother would like to say something:
“I would like to say that I was not a BITCH about it. I was asked what I thought about the food by the manager and I politely told him that I thought the food was terrible. I even asked if I could be honest and he said yes, so I was. So there. Oh, and we had every intention of paying but they insisted and we left the waitress a nice tip.”
Thanks, Mom. And Happy Mother’s Day.
ANOTHER UPDATE! The owner would like to say something:
“Dear Becca: I’m so sorry that we let you, and your Mom, down on such a special day (its never OK to let you down, just even worse on Mother’s Day)… I am curious who said “it comes from Corporate”–that’s truly hilarious, I don’t think anyone would ever refer to me and my partner Mike as “corporate”–we’re a little company! But most importantly, I’m truly sorry. I am glad that you ended not having to pay, but I realize that wasn’t the objective of coming to a restaurant. I will continue to work diligently with my team to get the restaurant to be consistently great.–Dan Simons”
Farmer’s & Fisher’s
3000 K Street NW
Washington, DC 20007