Farmers Fishers Bakers Brunch

Oh, the poor Georgetown Waterfront. For starters, the Potomac River is polluted and filthy. The Waterfront is so touristy. It’s also so round. I just don’t even understand the logistics of it, as far as architecture goes. There’s an overpass. There’s a circular round-a-bout. There’s a circular fountain turned ice skating rink. There’s a bunch of patio tables and you don’t know which area belongs to which restaurant, but it doesn’t really matter, because they all serve the same awful over-fried seafood and cheap beer at high prices.

Once, I got suckered in to going to a New Year’s Eve Party at Nick’s Riverside Grille. It was filled with drunken 23-year-olds (myself included). Inside, with the twinkly lights and the low ceilings, I felt like I was on a cruise ship. The floors were covered with spilled drinks; so slippery one erroneous step sent me flying. Then, like an Olympic gymnastic, I spun, twisted, and caught myself with both hands on a handle bar with grace and pizzazz, saving my very expensive silk cocktail frock from impending wet-liquor-slop doom. Finishing my spin on “the vault” I planted both feet firmly. Yes, one of my finer athletic moments occurred at the Georgetown Waterfront.

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Another time, Becca took her lovely British mum, Sylvia, to a Mother’s Day brunch at Farmers & Fishers. And it was horrible. Poor Sylvia. Poor Becca. Poor Waterfront, we loathed thee so.

Then there was that time it flooded. Remember that? Eeshk.

I was actually at the blasted Waterfront the other day for beers, at Sequoia, when it was perfectly beautiful and sunny. I opted for a Corona with lime, as I was confident that it’s impossible to order a quality cocktail, glass of wine, or decent beer at any of the Waterfront establishments, from my limited experience in the vicinity. It’s fine, though, that the quality is shit. They get away with it, there’s a river right there, and the tourists will keep a comin’.

Then, last month (February), Farmers Fishers Bakers, the former Farmers & Fishers of Mother’s Days gone afoul, invited me in to brunch (on the house). They’ve redesigned post-flood, rebranded, and revamped the menu. That’s fine, I thought, I’ll give it a go.

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I invited along one of my closest friends, Sophie, the Editrix behind Guest of a Guest. Sophie spends her time judging people while I spend my time judging brunch food, but that does not mean our jobs are altogether that different or altogether that insignificant. Brunch and social events are of the utmost importance, people, haven’t you been paying attention?

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Farmers Fishers Bakers has a beautiful, rustic-yet-modern ambiance. We were seated in a booth by the floor-to-ceiling windows that look out on the waterfront. The dining room was lively, filled with families, couples, and groups of young people brunching. A lively, fun, vibe.

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I ordered a Bellini, which was light, frothy, fluffy, if you will, and sweet. It was served in a saucer-style cocktail glass, a nice touch. The coffee was warm and always filled.

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Brunch is $29.99 for the brunch buffet, which includes coffee and iced tea. It also includes family-style dishes that are passed around by waiters to your table, served warm and fresh. So, it’s kind of an innovative concept. The buffet was smaller, but everything was fresh, and then you are served no less than six to 10 dishes at your table.

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According to the website, biscuits and cinnamon rolls are brought around. But, on the day we brunched, waiters also brought around fried shrimp with cocktail sauce, pizza- by-the-slice that was really, really good, and sushi rolls (salmon and tuna) that were fresh and delicious. While the pizza was better, the sushi was still really good.

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The cinnamon rolls, on the other hand, were to die for. The restaurant has certainly upped the ante in its bakery, as these cinnamon rolls rocked my world. (By contrast, when Becca went a few years ago, the cinnamon rolls were horrendous.)

Now, to the buffet. For starters, there were Presidential-style plates, which was a nice touch and took things up a notch from your typically cheap white plates.

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At the start of the buffet were sliced grapefruits, sprinkled with sugar and grilled. I’ve never had a grapefruit served in this manner, but I would love to get my paws on the recipe and start each day with a grapefruit that tasted this delicious. Bonus points for the correct sporks in order to effectively eat said grapefruit without making an ass of yourself.

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Also at the buffet, a cheerful guacamole gal making it fresh, and serving it with a smile. The omelet guy also looked really into his profession and made me a spinach, onion, and cheese omelet in a speedy, healthy, and delicious fashion.

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There was a French toast bar, with chocolate chip French toast as well as a bananas foster option. Way to keep the kids happy.

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Also on the buffet, a meat carving station. I can’t vouch for this component, but Sophie certainly was pleased.

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When asked for her thoughts, Sophie said, “I loved the brunch at Farmers Fishers Bakers. At first glance, the buffet seemed like it’s a little thin with lots of salad and light foods. Then, the staff starts coming around over and over again with pizza, eggs Benedict, sushi, bread and everything else you would expect to find at a high-end brunch.”

All in all, I’m quite impressed by the new Farmers Fishers Bakers restaurant, and there aren’t too many brunch buffets paired with table-side food out there (Georgia Browns is another). I’d say it’s worth a visit.

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The Bitches say: A-. Quite good for a buffet. We loved the pizza, cinnamon rolls, omelets and grapefruit. Sushi’s not bad, either.

Farmers Fishers Bakers
3000 K Street N.W.
Washington, D.C.
(202) 298-0003

Farmers Fishers Bakers on Urbanspoon

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